Thursday, May 19, 2011 (8.53am)

I could say the same thing I’ve been saying for the past umpteenth months - that’s it’s been a hell of a few weeks. But I won’t.

I lost a friend. But I also made another and I am beginning to learn togetherness and aloneness.

The problems staying asleep have started up again and at one point my arm got so bad that I had to take painkillers several times when what I really wanted to do was get really stoned and unwind. Thank god Miyako decided to punish me by sticking needles in me. Just 2 hours and a glorious massage later, I was as good as new. Acupuncture certainly rocks.

Of course I still haven’t been able to treat the problem at the root so the pain’s coming back slowly and I’m still having problems sleeping but I’m beginning to realize that no matter what, ultimately we each have to deal with our own issues. Of course we could talk to someone, but only to put our own thoughts and feelings in perspective. Never look for an answer, because it’s not going to come from outside. This little truth has set me on fire.

Now I am able to find pleasure in the simple things, like dancing by myself in my room, the feel of a hot wash cloth against my skin while taking a wash standing up in my little bathroom, the curve of a tiny pink cloud in a grey evening sky, the beauty of wild grass flowers along the walk and the way the sound of the crickets stills everything and enters your body as you walk through a small wood.

The elephant is perfectly beautiful.