Sitting with it...

Haven't written in ages because felt everything that was coming out had a bitter twist to it. Want to be able to contribute something positive but it's been hard coming by.

This year has been full of death and reminders of it and Grief has a weird way of staying fresh. But I'm beginning to stop the distractions and (hopefully) finally sit with the pain of it all. At times it's like a deluge threatening to drown me in it's depths and at other times it's like a gentle shower which leaves me refreshed and grateful for the sunshine. This experience has led me to reevaluate what I thought was my life's work and my own approach to it.

There are monuments aplenty for the dead. But they are as cold and dreary as death itself. Maybe what is needed is living monuments.

My brother Bonny was a beautiful soul and I think if I can live the remainder of my life as fully as he did it will be all the monument he needs.