(Inspired by the children I met in Jaffna. Follows after the poem Until it Snows)
I love the quiet. I love the pure, white finish of funeral shrouds. My world is troubled and noisy. My world is dusty, dirty and very dull since the guns began to fire. It leaves me longing for the silence of death.
Until the guns are silent.
I long for the peace that death brings. The thought of it helps me think about peaceful things. Like the way we used to laugh and play. My world is not peaceful.
Until the guns are silent.
I loath the memories the guns bring to mind. I cannot see the joy of Christmas in the things falling from the sky. I cannot hear the songs for my crying drowns it out. I cannot see the beauty in the piling up of dead. My world needs joy and laughter. It lacks so much.
Until the guns are silent.
I see the contrast blood brings. We are bathed in it, bombarded from all sides with flashing, brilliant, sparkling lights. Black, white, brown, gray and blood red limit us. My world is overwhelming.
Until the guns are silent.
I love the "slow" that death brings. My life is harried, rushed and moving too fast through check points and queues outside the grocery store, behind the barbed wire and the bars.
Until the guns are silent.
I take nothing for granted. I have no hope of losing myself in having too many choices. I only want another day of life in peace. I only want not to be afraid. I only want to be able to smile. I want to know my father and mother. But I can't
Until the guns are silent.
17th Dec '07 (10.56am)
Monday, December 17, 2007
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
The reality of living in a “Separate State”
Many Sri Lankans spent a peaceful Sunday at home. A typical lazy Sri Lankan Sunday spent lounging after a sumptuous lunch and browsing through the newspapers in a vain attempt to delay the oncoming week. I was one such Sri Lankan.
Going out was too much of a hassle with all the security concerns. The detailed recounting of the recent twin bomb blasts checked all enthusiasm of having a rocking Sunday.
You can imagine my surprise on calling a friend and having her quietly ask me how come there was no action taken to stop the mass arrests. What arrests? I had browsed through all the usual Sunday newspapers and even stayed home the previous night and caught the news bulletin, but there was no word of any arrests. And surely if something worth knowing about was going on I’d have got a news alert on my mobile phone?
I hurriedly covered my shame at being caught out of the “news” and told her that what was happening was shameful and that I’d speak to someone about it and get back to her.
I’m recording this down now many hours later, hoping she will read this somewhere (if I manage to publish it at all) and not hold it against me that I never called her back.
The truth is that many other Sri Lankans didn’t have such a peaceful weekend. On the contrary, they had an eventful weekend spent trying to obtain a meeting with the police officers of the various stations in Colombo to prove that their relatives were wrongfully being taken in under suspicion of terrorism.
Unfortunately all the crying and pleading fell on deaf years as the police made arrangements to transfer almost 100 of the 132 people taken in under suspicion to Boosa.
Fearing the worst, the parents of those captured flocked to the police station in a vain attempt to prevent the dreaded transfer to Boosa.
But the police managed to affect the transfer by taking the captives through the rear entrance and transporting them in two buses under escort of four armoured vehicles.
According to police sources, they were acting on the instruction of their seniors, when they rounded up Tamil speaking Sri Lankans all over the island and took them to Boosa.
Distraught parents arranged for buses to take them to Temple Trees to plead with HE the President on behalf of their loved ones, only to be told that they should not trouble themselves as HE was busy and would not be able to meet with them.
I can understand the security concerns given the last week’s tragic incidents. But surely when parents turn up at police stations with all manner of proof to show that they are indeed legitimate residents of the area through birth certificates, school certificates and all manner of documentation, they can be allowed to meet with the relevant authorities?
Afterall past experience tells me that captured terrorists have ready their cyanide capsules and will not hesitate to use it if captured. Or maybe sending people to pose as family members and forging proof of legitimacy to plead their release is a new and cunning terrorist plot.
It is Monday already and I’ve only managed to see one paragraph on the action that is planned by a concerned authority against what is called “indiscriminate arrests”. Very neat and vague. I haven’t spoken to any of my contacts in the civil society but it is apparent that other than them, no one else knows what happened and what has been done (or not) to remedy this shameful situation. The rest of us continue in ignorance after the popular adage that ignorance is bliss.
I was able to get the details only off Asian Tribune and an Australian online news portal that already around 1500 people have been arrested. Apparently the police and other authorities are not commenting on the situation, but it is understood that almost 400 people are being sent to the Boosa Detention Centre with a further 38 being held in the Kalutura prisons under emergency law. Many others are also held in various police stations, but families are unable to obtain any details of their loved ones.
I wonder that the news publications I read, carried all manner of stories, but failed to have even one line in some obscure corner of their publication which let the general public know what was happening around them.
I have often posed the question of “varying news” and “no news” to many media persons and I am faced with their unarguable response that the matter is too politically sensitive to talk about and they don’t want to court danger.
But I wonder then, what then is news reporting? Isn’t it just simply and truthfully reporting facts as they are? I can imagine that news stories may be the journalists’ interpretation of events. But surely we Sri Lankans have the right to read some good old truths? We do enjoy Carl Muller’s portrayal of society with all its dark and incestuous plots? Somewhat unpleasant to be discussed in public but true nevertheless? Sure we have the right to know what happens in our backyards?
I wonder at the comfortable ignorance the majority of us enjoy being in. We don’t want to be perceived as “not in the in” so we have cable TV, maybe an internet connection or maybe even a subscription to receive news alerts so that we have access to news from all over the world. But we don’t seem too perturbed by the fact that maybe something is happening right under our noses. We don’t mind that we may be the last ones to know. Some of us even don’t mind never knowing at all.
After my news alerts facility became a paid one, I thought I’d not think too much about the cost (in addition to all the other levies etc on my phone bill) and keep it as it would be useful to be in the loop. But as a paying customer I feel slightly let down that I was not informed and instead was made to look like a fool when my friend asked me if I had not heard about the arrests. I’m seriously considering unsubscribing and I’m miffed that I didn’t save the details of how one should go about doing so.
I can’t help wondering if indeed Sri Lanka is two different countries, or maybe even two different planets, let alone two different states. I wonder where all those who clamour to preserve their motherland as a unitary state and preserve it’s sovereignty know that there very efforts may be creating a divide that all the well-intentioned rhetoric in the world will never be able to put together.
3rd Dec 07
8.05am
Going out was too much of a hassle with all the security concerns. The detailed recounting of the recent twin bomb blasts checked all enthusiasm of having a rocking Sunday.
You can imagine my surprise on calling a friend and having her quietly ask me how come there was no action taken to stop the mass arrests. What arrests? I had browsed through all the usual Sunday newspapers and even stayed home the previous night and caught the news bulletin, but there was no word of any arrests. And surely if something worth knowing about was going on I’d have got a news alert on my mobile phone?
I hurriedly covered my shame at being caught out of the “news” and told her that what was happening was shameful and that I’d speak to someone about it and get back to her.
I’m recording this down now many hours later, hoping she will read this somewhere (if I manage to publish it at all) and not hold it against me that I never called her back.
The truth is that many other Sri Lankans didn’t have such a peaceful weekend. On the contrary, they had an eventful weekend spent trying to obtain a meeting with the police officers of the various stations in Colombo to prove that their relatives were wrongfully being taken in under suspicion of terrorism.
Unfortunately all the crying and pleading fell on deaf years as the police made arrangements to transfer almost 100 of the 132 people taken in under suspicion to Boosa.
Fearing the worst, the parents of those captured flocked to the police station in a vain attempt to prevent the dreaded transfer to Boosa.
But the police managed to affect the transfer by taking the captives through the rear entrance and transporting them in two buses under escort of four armoured vehicles.
According to police sources, they were acting on the instruction of their seniors, when they rounded up Tamil speaking Sri Lankans all over the island and took them to Boosa.
Distraught parents arranged for buses to take them to Temple Trees to plead with HE the President on behalf of their loved ones, only to be told that they should not trouble themselves as HE was busy and would not be able to meet with them.
I can understand the security concerns given the last week’s tragic incidents. But surely when parents turn up at police stations with all manner of proof to show that they are indeed legitimate residents of the area through birth certificates, school certificates and all manner of documentation, they can be allowed to meet with the relevant authorities?
Afterall past experience tells me that captured terrorists have ready their cyanide capsules and will not hesitate to use it if captured. Or maybe sending people to pose as family members and forging proof of legitimacy to plead their release is a new and cunning terrorist plot.
It is Monday already and I’ve only managed to see one paragraph on the action that is planned by a concerned authority against what is called “indiscriminate arrests”. Very neat and vague. I haven’t spoken to any of my contacts in the civil society but it is apparent that other than them, no one else knows what happened and what has been done (or not) to remedy this shameful situation. The rest of us continue in ignorance after the popular adage that ignorance is bliss.
I was able to get the details only off Asian Tribune and an Australian online news portal that already around 1500 people have been arrested. Apparently the police and other authorities are not commenting on the situation, but it is understood that almost 400 people are being sent to the Boosa Detention Centre with a further 38 being held in the Kalutura prisons under emergency law. Many others are also held in various police stations, but families are unable to obtain any details of their loved ones.
I wonder that the news publications I read, carried all manner of stories, but failed to have even one line in some obscure corner of their publication which let the general public know what was happening around them.
I have often posed the question of “varying news” and “no news” to many media persons and I am faced with their unarguable response that the matter is too politically sensitive to talk about and they don’t want to court danger.
But I wonder then, what then is news reporting? Isn’t it just simply and truthfully reporting facts as they are? I can imagine that news stories may be the journalists’ interpretation of events. But surely we Sri Lankans have the right to read some good old truths? We do enjoy Carl Muller’s portrayal of society with all its dark and incestuous plots? Somewhat unpleasant to be discussed in public but true nevertheless? Sure we have the right to know what happens in our backyards?
I wonder at the comfortable ignorance the majority of us enjoy being in. We don’t want to be perceived as “not in the in” so we have cable TV, maybe an internet connection or maybe even a subscription to receive news alerts so that we have access to news from all over the world. But we don’t seem too perturbed by the fact that maybe something is happening right under our noses. We don’t mind that we may be the last ones to know. Some of us even don’t mind never knowing at all.
After my news alerts facility became a paid one, I thought I’d not think too much about the cost (in addition to all the other levies etc on my phone bill) and keep it as it would be useful to be in the loop. But as a paying customer I feel slightly let down that I was not informed and instead was made to look like a fool when my friend asked me if I had not heard about the arrests. I’m seriously considering unsubscribing and I’m miffed that I didn’t save the details of how one should go about doing so.
I can’t help wondering if indeed Sri Lanka is two different countries, or maybe even two different planets, let alone two different states. I wonder where all those who clamour to preserve their motherland as a unitary state and preserve it’s sovereignty know that there very efforts may be creating a divide that all the well-intentioned rhetoric in the world will never be able to put together.
3rd Dec 07
8.05am
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